This is not going to be a blog about me really... It's something I want to share with you.... I've recently been doing modeling...Throughout the process it's been interesting. Modeling you are surrounded by people who have great bodies! As we all know I have lost a lot of weight which you would think would give me such confidence!! But when you are surrounded by beautiful bodies you start to doubt your abilities!!!
The other day I posted a status saying I didn't know if modeling was right for me... After posting it I actually felt bad about it! You think when you loose 100 plus pounds that you would have some major confidence lol hahah not me! I'm working on it soo hard! I've been reading Ellen's new book..There is a chapter that I would like to share with you... I'm going to type it out on here it's a little long but it really spoke to me and help me realize that I must believe in myself! That there is beauty in me! Even if I don't have a perfect Body!
Covergirl By Ellen Degeneres
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder:
Beauty is only skin deep.
Beauty is not in the face; beauty is a light in the heart.
Throughout my entire life, I have belived in these sentiments. I've belived that true beauty is not related to what color your hair is or what color your eyes are. True beauty is about who you are as a human being, your principles, your moral compass. And then in 2008 I was finally able to throw all that hogwash out the window because I was named the new face of CoverGirl cosmetics! Take a bite out of that, world! Check out these cheekbones! I'm abeauty queen! (This is where flashbulbs go off and I turn my head from side to side, posing like a supermodel. It was apparenttly too expensive and not possible to put mini lightbulbs in every book, so you're just gonna hve to imagine it. I'm sorry).
The truth is, I still believe that above all things physical, it is more important to be beautiful on the inside-to have a big heart and an open mind and a spectacular spleen. (Actually , most people's insides are disguesting. Even pretty people have very unattractive insides. Have you ever seen those surgery shows on Discovery? Not pretty)!
To me, beauty is about being comfortable in your own skin It's about knowing and accepting who you are. I'm happy being who I am. I'm confident, I live honestly and truthfully, and I think that's why I was chosen as the first fifty-year-old, openly gay Covergirl. It's just a bonus that I have devastatingly blue eyes.
But we really are a society that focuses so much on physical appearance. I realized this recently when I accidentally looked into one of those mirrors that magnify your face to five hundred times its actual size. They sell them at Bed Bath and Beyond in the "Things That Make You Feel Bad About Yourself" ailse. They're right next to the bathroom scales, usually on a shelf you're to short to reach. I'm sure you've all looked into one of them at some point. On one side, it's a totally normal mirror. And then if you turn it over to the other side, your face looks like the surface of the moon.
Portia and I have one in our shower. I never look in it because it's usually blocked by the person who washes me. But for some reason I looked in it one day and, oh Lordy, that is a horrible invention! Who invented that thing and why haven't they been jailed? Those things need to come with a warning. Car mirrors have warning that say, "objects are closer than they appear." Magnification mirrors should have warnings that say, "objects are not as attractive as they appear."
They show you things you didn't know were there, that no one can possibly see. I looked at my hairline and I found a family of doves living in it. It was shocking. The only people who need to see things that close up are surgeons who are performing delicate operations and jewelers. That's it! No one is gonna see youthe way oyu see yourself in those mirrors unless you're married to a surgeon or a jeweler and they ocme home from work still wearing that apparatus. "Honey, I'm home. Oh my goodness, your pores are huge!"
I don't know why we ever need to look into those. They're not accurate. They point out every single one of our flaws. We don't need that. That's why we have mothers. The fact of matter is that everyone has flaws. No one is perfect, except for Penelope Cruz. Our flaw are what make us human. If we can accept them as part of who we are, they really don't even have to be an issue.
I feel the same way about age. I've never been someone to lie about my age. I don't understand it. Actually, I don't know how people can lie about their age anymore now that the Internet exist. Not only can people easily find out what year I was born, they can find out what time, what hospital, how long my mother was in labor. I wouldn't be surprised if there was footage on youtube of the doctor spanking me. The only reason there isn't is because youtube didn't exist when I was born.
Our age is something we have absolutely no control over, it's just a fact of who we are. I enjoy growing older and wiser and learning from my mistakes every single day. I'm happy for example, that I no longer eat paste, like I did when I was 24. And I'm happy that in a few years I'll be able to get half-price tickets to movies and museums. Considering how often I go to the movies and museums, I could save upward of thirty dollars a year.
When we were kids, all we wanted was tobe older. When we were seven and half and someone said we were only seven, we were furious. We probably even cried about it. Canyou imagine doing that now as an adult? "This is Marsha. She's forty-two." "Forty-two and a half! You always forget the half!! I'm practically forty-two and three quarters!" I don't know at what age people stop wanting to be older. People seem to enjoy their twenties and thirties. It mustbe around forty, when you're "over the hill. I don't even know what that means and why it's a bad thing. When I go hiking and I get over the hill, that means I'm past the hard part and there's a snack in my future! That's a good thing as far as I'm concerned.
People seem to be shy about their age through their fifites and sixties, but then once they hit seventy or eighty, they start telling people again because it's such a huge victory to have made it that far. No one gets to one hundred and tells people they're only ninety-five. So I dont know why anyone has to lie about those middle years. We should celebrate every year that we made through and every year that we're happier and healthier. Because honestly, that's the beast case scenario. And the bottom line is we are who we are we look a certain way, we talk a certain way. I strut because I'm a supermodel, and sometimes I gallop for fun. When we learn to accept that, other people learn to accept us. So be who you really are. Embrace who you are. Literally, Hug yourself. Accept who you are Unless you're a serial killer.
I know it seems easy and breezy for me to say but trust me..it's okay to be you. If you had called fifteen years ago and told me I was going to end up being a CoverGirl, I would have said "No way" and "How'd you get this number?" But look at me now. I'm totally myself and I'm an internationally know, widely sought-after supermodel. I even went to Paris one time!
Reading this made me think! I am who I am! I am beautiful, and smart! I may not have the perfect body! There is no one in the world who is me and that's what makes me beauitful! I wanted to share this with you! Because no matter what size, shape, color you are beautiful!! When you are having a bad day and you are hating what you see in the mirror remember this from Ellen!
